Bill Dogterom

Children have to be taught thanksgiving. There are probably some kids who are born grateful but, in my experience, not many. Thanks saying is the first step to learning thanksgiving. It may be an expression behind which there is no real feeling, but you have to start somewhere. And the somewhere at which we start is to acknowledge having received something from someone. That acknowledgement is signaled by a verbal – or otherwise communicated – “thank you.” It would be nice if there was a certain gladness behind the words, but sometimes, in training, you have to go with what you get!

It would be sad, however, if we stopped in our training at just saying the right words. Some attempt must be made to train our children, and ourselves, in gratitude – a genuine and heartfelt appreciation for the gift received. This is a bit more difficult – how do you train a “feeling”?

We can begin to ask God for an understanding of what we have been given – for eyes to see the nature of the world as it would be without gift, without generosity. It is easy for us to assume that we deserve what good comes to us. One of the strategies for moving to gratitude from the heart is to seriously consider, before the Lord, what we are actually entitled to. It would be, I think, a rather short list!

Another step would be to sit for a moment with what we have. So much of life passes by without reflection – we don’t notice what is immediately at hand – we take it for granted. To stop long enough and begin to develop a “Thank List” could help to push us deep enough into our own “gracedness” that we will find gratitude growing.

It will always be helpful to spend some time with truly thankful people. We will take on the characteristics of those with whom we spend time. We can learn gratitude from people who are grateful. It tends to be contagious – we learn to see in new ways. Life itself becomes a gift for which the only response is thanksgiving – from a grateful heart.

When it comes to giving thanks, the behavior can be helpful in training the heart. It is a spiritual discipline – a chosen and right action, which over time, trains us so that we are able to be what we can’t yet naturally be, grateful. The point is, we can train ourselves to give thanks with the hope that we will, one day, be grateful. But, in the meantime, saying thanks is not a bad place to start.