Bill Dogterom
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Spectacular Weeds
Well, its that time of year again. Time for my occasional reflection on the plight of the modern home-owner. As always, it follows a couple of weeks of effort in the yard as we have struggled mightily to rid the land of the curse of Adam. Yes, I am talking about weeds. There is probably more to the curse of Adam than that, but for right now, weeds are about all I can see.
What drew my attention was the spectacular varieties that boldly try and pass themselves off as small trees, blending in with the rest of the landscape until the last minute when they release their toxic puff-balls into the innocent air. Those ones are easy to deal with. Most of them have either a shallow root structure and are anchored to the ground like Gulliver was by the Lilliputians, or they have a single tap root. In either case, a loosening of the dirt (I won’t call what we have in our yard “soil”) is all it takes to dispatch them to their just reward. There is something deeply gratifying about watching the big ones fall.
This year, however, I have been on my knees dealing with a particularly obnoxious infestation in my lawn. And I am not talking about prayer – although there were times when it came to that. The Marathon sod I laid a couple of years ago has become a multi-ethnic community of bermuda grass, oxalis, dandelion, winter-rye, and, as a carefully placed advertising door-hanger indicated, the omnipresent “other weeds.” These invaders have driven me to looking longingly at the rockscapes of the desert! I have been out there, night after night, day fading into dusk, digging these vegetative vermin out, leaving large holes and brown spots in place of the rich green that, from a distance, looked like lawn.
It is no simple matter to get rid of these things. They have wrapped themselves around the grass roots and have sent out runners weaving their way half a foot or more from their alien mother. And after hours of back breaking labor, a trip the next morning to survey the results produces the horrifying observation that as many were missed as removed!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Thanksgiving Seeds
What gets noticed, gets repeated. Children will pay the price of discipline - even punishment - if the alternative is to be ignored - not noticed. Teens say things they don't mean just to get a reaction. You can observe adult children acting out in the same ways - rather than be marginalized, they behave badly, but noticeably.
If that is true of the negative, it is true of the positive. What gets affirmed, praised, celebrated, gets repeated. Given human nature, which is likely to get repeated first and most often - that which is noticed and punished, or that which is noticed and celebrated?
An oft quoted text from Proverbs suggests, "Raise up a child in a manner appropriate to his nature and character and when he is old, he will not depart from it." The language is that of the plant nursery and has to do with training vines into healthy fruitfulness. The trick in this kind of work is to become enough aware of the individual plant to know it's character - it's natural bent. If you train a vine in a manner contrary to its natural growth patterns, it will, over time, break free of the training. But if you shape and bend and train the vine in keeping with it's nature, it will assume and maintain the new shape - as a matter of nature.
Affirmation is one concrete way of positively noticing someone's actions. It pays attention and celebrates behavior worth celebrating. And increases the likeliehood of repeat business! Thanksgiving is one of the ways to affirm. If I am thanked for something I have done, I am likely to want to do it again. Thanksgiving expresses positive noticing.
In this way, thanksgiving plants seeds. Over time, those thanksgiving seeds will germinate and sprout. Then notice the small seedlings of positive virtues. Notice - and say thank you. Then watch the seedling respond to the warmth of affirming appreciation.
The future harvest is planted today. The trick is to sow the seed, water it - then let it grow. The harvest is worth the wait.
If that is true of the negative, it is true of the positive. What gets affirmed, praised, celebrated, gets repeated. Given human nature, which is likely to get repeated first and most often - that which is noticed and punished, or that which is noticed and celebrated?
An oft quoted text from Proverbs suggests, "Raise up a child in a manner appropriate to his nature and character and when he is old, he will not depart from it." The language is that of the plant nursery and has to do with training vines into healthy fruitfulness. The trick in this kind of work is to become enough aware of the individual plant to know it's character - it's natural bent. If you train a vine in a manner contrary to its natural growth patterns, it will, over time, break free of the training. But if you shape and bend and train the vine in keeping with it's nature, it will assume and maintain the new shape - as a matter of nature.
Affirmation is one concrete way of positively noticing someone's actions. It pays attention and celebrates behavior worth celebrating. And increases the likeliehood of repeat business! Thanksgiving is one of the ways to affirm. If I am thanked for something I have done, I am likely to want to do it again. Thanksgiving expresses positive noticing.
In this way, thanksgiving plants seeds. Over time, those thanksgiving seeds will germinate and sprout. Then notice the small seedlings of positive virtues. Notice - and say thank you. Then watch the seedling respond to the warmth of affirming appreciation.
The future harvest is planted today. The trick is to sow the seed, water it - then let it grow. The harvest is worth the wait.
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