Bill Dogterom
Sunday, September 25, 2005
The Truly Different Individual
To be an individual – to stand out from the crowd – to be different – to not blend in. For some, the quest is life-long – for others a momentary diversion. There are spiritual versions of it that place a premium on finding God’s special plans and place for you with the repeated assurance that He has something great for you to do. It is promoted by the hypocrites of the advertising industry – who hope enough people will want to be different in the same way. A few years ago there was a commercial featuring children staring into the camera saying things like, “When I grow up, I want to be normal,” the point being that nothing great comes of a desire to be normal. Greatness demands extraordinary individuals who celebrate their out-of-stepness with society by odd fashion sense or strange hair cuts. But eccentricity is not the same thing as individuality – even though they often pass as the other’s twin. The truth is, to quote a favorite bumper sticker, “You are unique – just like everybody else.”
What does it take to be a real individual? The answer may surprise you. It takes belonging to a community. It is only in community that individuality can flourish and have any meaning beyond strange. It is the community that provides the framework, support structure, and background in which individuality can safely exist. It is only out of community that individuality can grow. You don’t create community by pulling together a bunch of individuals in an organized attempt at getting them all on the same page.
Think of a family. In a healthy family, each member is allowed and encouraged to be fully themselves. They don’t need to conform for fear of rejection – they are already part of the family and it is completely safe for them to express themselves against the backdrop of that security. Individual accomplishment is celebrated. Individual failure is equally supported. It is expected that they will be different from the other members of the family – not to be so would be a denial of their reality, and a failure to honor the family that gave them place.
A truly different individual is so comfortable and safe in their respective community of support that they can risk becoming fully themselves without fear of rejection or ridicule. They may endure some good natured teasing when they get too far out there, but the goal is always full expression within the framework of the communal life.
So, if you want to be a truly different individual, be an active part of a vibrant community. Like the church.
What does it take to be a real individual? The answer may surprise you. It takes belonging to a community. It is only in community that individuality can flourish and have any meaning beyond strange. It is the community that provides the framework, support structure, and background in which individuality can safely exist. It is only out of community that individuality can grow. You don’t create community by pulling together a bunch of individuals in an organized attempt at getting them all on the same page.
Think of a family. In a healthy family, each member is allowed and encouraged to be fully themselves. They don’t need to conform for fear of rejection – they are already part of the family and it is completely safe for them to express themselves against the backdrop of that security. Individual accomplishment is celebrated. Individual failure is equally supported. It is expected that they will be different from the other members of the family – not to be so would be a denial of their reality, and a failure to honor the family that gave them place.
A truly different individual is so comfortable and safe in their respective community of support that they can risk becoming fully themselves without fear of rejection or ridicule. They may endure some good natured teasing when they get too far out there, but the goal is always full expression within the framework of the communal life.
So, if you want to be a truly different individual, be an active part of a vibrant community. Like the church.
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